A Tanzanian Wedding
The very first time SOTV members visited Tanzania in 2002, we were invited to a wedding on our very first evening in Iringa. We didn't arrive in time to attend the wedding ceremony at the church, but we went to the dance and reception with a lot of curiosity and with the hope that we wouldn't make any social faux pas on our very first encounter with Tanzanians.
It turned out to be a lot of fun, just like any wedding dance we would attend here. There was food, cold drinks, dancing, lots of relatives and people to meet. I remember that one of the dances was almost identical to "the chicken dance."
I also remember how sober and serious, almost stern, the bring and groom appeared at the reception. Weren't they having fun? Was this an arranged marriage? Why weren't they smiling?
We asked our hosts, and they told us this is the Tanzanian custom at weddings. All the guests are smiling and happy for the couple, but the bride and groom themselves must not show any smiles. They must not in any way indicate that they are aware of the joys of married life, we were told.
Just days before Pastor Diane, Joan and Richard arrived in Tanzania, one of our very dear friends was married. Mfaume is one of our star students, someone who was sponsored by SOTV scholarship donors all through his high school and college years. He has served as our interpreter on numerous visits. He is now employed as a community organizer, helping women in remote villages form cooperatives for economic development projects.
Mfaume's wife, Jenitha, is a school teacher.
Jenitha is dressed in a beautiful white dress, similar to any American bride. Additionally, she wears the beaded headdress and necklaces of her tribe.
Tanzanian societal norms are very modest. I have never, in any of my seven visits, seen a Tanzanian man embrace a Tanzanian woman, or even hold hands.
Here is the happy couple with some of their Tungamalenga friends. Absalum Kilipamwambu is on the left, then Rev. John Mhekwa (who helped negotiate the engagement), Mfaume, Jenitha, and Enisea (Absalum's wife).
It turned out to be a lot of fun, just like any wedding dance we would attend here. There was food, cold drinks, dancing, lots of relatives and people to meet. I remember that one of the dances was almost identical to "the chicken dance."
I also remember how sober and serious, almost stern, the bring and groom appeared at the reception. Weren't they having fun? Was this an arranged marriage? Why weren't they smiling?
We asked our hosts, and they told us this is the Tanzanian custom at weddings. All the guests are smiling and happy for the couple, but the bride and groom themselves must not show any smiles. They must not in any way indicate that they are aware of the joys of married life, we were told.
Just days before Pastor Diane, Joan and Richard arrived in Tanzania, one of our very dear friends was married. Mfaume is one of our star students, someone who was sponsored by SOTV scholarship donors all through his high school and college years. He has served as our interpreter on numerous visits. He is now employed as a community organizer, helping women in remote villages form cooperatives for economic development projects.
Mfaume's wife, Jenitha, is a school teacher.
Jenitha is dressed in a beautiful white dress, similar to any American bride. Additionally, she wears the beaded headdress and necklaces of her tribe.
Mfaume and Jenitha wear garlands of silk flowers. We see these garlands at other celebrations, like at graduation ceremonies.
Tanzanian societal norms are very modest. I have never, in any of my seven visits, seen a Tanzanian man embrace a Tanzanian woman, or even hold hands.
Here is the happy couple with some of their Tungamalenga friends. Absalum Kilipamwambu is on the left, then Rev. John Mhekwa (who helped negotiate the engagement), Mfaume, Jenitha, and Enisea (Absalum's wife).
A few days after the wedding, Mfaume and Jenitha are free to show their joy. This photo was taken in Tungamalenga.
Last week, we received an email from Mfaume. He wrote:
We are so glad to get a prayful message from you our parents. Again we are happy to have been remembered by you. We are so excited that we are now living in a bond of a husband and a wife. We are thankful to God for He has enabled our dream to a realty.
We thank God that our wedding ceremony went well and my lovely grandma was so excited to have her lovely grand son getting married. It was always her prayer that I get married. I was supprised when she told me that "I thank God He has given you a wife, even if God takes me now I will be happy because you are married." I replied I pray for her that she will give blessings to my first born.
We thank you for the card you sent to us with money, thank you very much our Heavenly Father
bless you abundantly.
bless you abundantly.
And we also pray that Mfaume and Jenitha be blessed in their marriage, and that his dear Grandmother, who raised him, will live to bless their firstborn child. Mungu Akubariki.
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